


Always

by beespiesandplaid



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:57:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7401742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beespiesandplaid/pseuds/beespiesandplaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a quiet confession of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> just a tiny thing I wrote

“Do you love me,” Alec murmurs.

“Always,” Magnus whispers back, and he means it.

“Don’t say that.”

Magnus is quiet, waiting. He only ever speaks the truth to Alec Lightwood.

“You don’t mean it. You can’t mean it.”

“I can. I do.” He runs his fingers over marked ribs, the whisper of skin on skin like leaves rustling.

Alec’s eyes are closed, teeth deep in his lips. Magnus grasps his hands; both fists are clenched shut. His heart constricts at Alec’s disbelief. “I will die, Magnus. I will die, and you will live on, and it will not be always.”

Magnus waits until Alec opens his eyes, and then he breathes out, and speaks. “Alec, I have fallen in love more times than I can count, but not more than I can remember. I have had innumerable friends. And a great many of them have passed on. But that doesn’t mean I no longer care for them. The heart… the heart doesn’t forget.”

Alec says nothing, and his fists are still closed.

“Your brother died, Alec. And when he died – did you stop loving him? Does your heart not still twist at the memory of him? Do you not catch yourself smiling at some joke you once shared, do you not find yourself lost in memory?”

Tears shine in his eyes, and Magnus is sorry to have put them there, sorry to have awoken the pain he carries every day in this quiet boy he loves. The pain of memories that can no longer be shared is uniquely painful. He knows too well what it is to be the last person carrying a moment.

“I… I love him.”

“Think of that, my darling, and know that when you are gone, my heart will feel all of that and more. And once the pain has faded, it will feel only love.”

“How do you live through it?”

Magnus sighs. “I live through it because I must. I live through it because the first kiss deserves remembering, and I live through it because every kiss, every laugh, every moan and shiver and second of connection, is worth it.”

“Over and over…”

Magnus smiles sadly as first kisses flash through his brain. “You know, Alec, the biggest mistake we make is in assuming our capacity for love is finite. It isn’t.”

“Then I am a drop in the ocean?”

“Darling, you are the entire Atlantic.”

Alec reaches up and brushes a tear from Magnus’ eye. He feels the dampness on his finger when Alec cups his jaw, and pulls him down for a kiss. He can feel Alec’s heartbeat against his chest, and he commits it to memory. “I love you,” Alec whispers, “Always.”


End file.
